Saturday, May 1, 2010

Poetry Rant

I had about three hours free where I just went from poem to poem, these are posted in the order they were written. Hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

Leave me be,
I guess I got my wish,
Soaring above hearing rumors of this that and everything else,
Knowing that no matter what happened in the past all I can do is feel the wind rush through my hair,
How can anyone say they understand anyone,
If you're not in their head it's simply not possible,
Nice knowing you--
Cause I'm embarking on my only trail,
Follow me if you will,
But I'm sure as heck not gonna let anyone else control me.
Leave me be,
And I might consider doing the same for you.
This tongue speaks no lies today,
So listen hard and listen true.
For I only say this once,
I love being me,
Don't screw it up.

What've I done now.
I've made a monster,
Created a disaster waiting to happen.
I could've had it all...
But this is what I get instead,
Thanks life,
Just out of reach,
Tormenting me every second of every minute,
I do this to myself,
With no end in sight,
So many options,
But I chose this one,
Says a lot doesn't it,
Get me out of here,
It shouldn't be hard considering how easy it was to jump...
I miss---
I miss the way things used to go,
Dreaming of a return
but I shouldn't have been so optimistic,
There never really was a chance,
And we all knew it,
So here I am--
Picking up the pieces,
Doing all I can in the face of defeat,
I'm an idiot sometimes,
And wish there was a reset button on life,
Go back about a decade and become a whole different person...
How many things did I burn without even thinking,
I truly hate myself sometimes,
Time to face the music,
And walk to reality,
Never thinking twice,
Sheer instinct leading the way from here on out,
Watch me go,
For you'll never catch me.

Falsified Future is the prologue to the rest
Falsified Future
So much passed me
When my eyes were fluttering open and shut,
As I dreamt of what could be,
What should have been--
How could I ever have let this happen?
So much was going for me,
I held the future in my hands effortlessly,
And you tore me apart,
From the inside out...
Just let me sit here holding myself together,
Hoping no one will walk by and notice,
I'm sick of acting
So many promises,
Falling apart before my eyes,
The kid mumbling that they're done with their homework...
The soul muttering about their lost hopes,
Drifting lost aimless running into walls.
There was a point where she would have given anything--
Anything just to know what really happened,
But all the people would say was that she wasn't ready.
But she was.
And they knew it,
But they weren't.
Embrace the truth,
So much is lost to falsification.
Feel the sweet tendrils of neon lights lick the eyes of every existence,
Be they young, old,
Pale or dark,
Just know that gradients are existent,
And we will never be free.
Her eyes flicker shut.

Part I
The electrical current runs down her spine
Pain echoed only in her eyes.
She doesn't know where to go, who to turn to
All there is is the knowledge that nothing is changing today.
Words bounce around her skull
"Why bother... No one likes me, they look at me with pitying eyes
They stutter out half true words hoping that I'm too stupid..."
Just to know how the world spins.
The current is unending--
A constant reminder of the pain,
The anxiety the pounds against her soul every moment,
They never help her,
Never stop to hold her up and tell her how wonderful she is,
She would be satisfied for life just to know she means something to someone.
How could they,
All she knew was the chill--
The chill that constantly rocked her body,
Tormenting her slowly pulling her to edge,
She never gave completely in,
But oh-
How she danced on that edge,
She danced with such grace and ferocity that the town turned up,
Eyes as large as gulf balls,
And as cold and old as the forgotten bag of golf balls long retired,
Left to rot in the garage with the spiders.
Just turn to her and say the words to make it all right,
You know you could help her,
The electricity short wired rocks through her nerves again.
Help her,
For no matter how she tries,
She can't escape on her own.

Part II
Hurried she rushes out the door,
Rushing into a new decision
Praying something new is in the works,
Something stops her.
The door vibrates,
Telekinetically forcing her backward,
Back into the old traps--
Running around the loss is everywhere,
Her grandfather dieing early,
He meant so much to her not that she'd ever admit it.
Her friendships that were never meant to last,
She was simply standing in...
All she wants is to get out--
And all the windows are barricaded,
And glass would be her end.
For everything she is she can't stand
The possibility of looking the truth in the eye,
So the glass made windows are out of the question,
She walks around with so many hidden qualities
All in an effort to be normal...
What is normal anyway?
He looks at her with eyes that could shoot across her sky like a shooting star.
But the fear consumes him.
And he falls out of her hands as swiftly as hot sand
All it would have taken is one step forward
And a single sentence from him,
But it was too much,
He's just like all the rest...
Despite her dreams.
Hope drains out of her eyes as she falls back into the cold wood.

Part III
How could he
After everything he had told her?
He held her and smiled at her,
Whatever tickled her pink...
Poppies the lush color of red,
Bleeding into the background,
Grinning back at her,
Her attention returns to the main subject by preference...
Why couldn't even this place go her way,
The creepy organisms all around,
But he's here--
So this must be right,
And nothing can be worse that it was.
So things must be looking up right?
He shakes his head.
But this is my damn dream she screeches,

You can ruin my life
You can ruin my hopes.
You can destroy my future.
But my dreams you will never touch,
I will hold my stake in my domain,
And never back down...
The poppies burst and dissolve into the death and loss,
Bloody death now evident to even the slowest being,
Nothing held back,
But you were supposed to help me,
They told me so...
Nothing was as it was how it should be,
And she knew it.
All he knew was that she wasn't his issue.
Help her they screamed
No replies reach her ears,
No replies help her get up to sing her wishes.
Would it kill them to give her some hope
She dreams on,
Despite the nightmares tainting her brainwaves.

Part IV
Waking up
Gritting her teeth all she can think about is that there must be some way,
Some reprieve.
There is no other option,
It just must.
A lasting reminder shakes her frame again,
The anxiety getting to her soul--
And there's nothing to be done but try harder.
Sing her graces for she went on,
Went on when no one else could,
How could anyone do it but sheer will,
Pausing to glance down at her hands and say one last thing to her nay-sayers--
She runs up to her roof by means of kicking out the glass in her sister's room.
Opening her eyes for the first time
The neighbors' eye brows shoot up,
Amazed by her new found confidence and conviction...
Rain begins to pound,
Forcing everyone back indoors.
Besides her,
The one finally embracing reality in its purest form.
She sits there unshaking,
Unmoved by the frozen pelts of liquid,
The mostly unharmed liquid,
Some of it knowably full of man-made toxins released into the air,
But it's real.
And that's all that mattered,
As she stood up and rose her face to the clouds,
No one else knew how she did it.
Working against gravity it was,
But something changed in her,
Power no one else had ever known.

Part V
As she looks down towards the ground
She realizes that she can leave,
She can run,
But the the electricity will follow her--
Continue to tear her soul into pieces,
Pieces that even an expert puzzle solver wouldn't know what to do with.
He did this to her,
He slowly but swiftly collapsed her dreams,
Saying nothing but saying everything,
Everything that would destroy her,
How could he...
All she wanted was to dream,
To reach for the stars and possibly come back happy--
Was that too much of her to ask?
They don't think so,
But he did.
She jumps.
Feeling the euphoria of oxygen and rain,
Keeping her human,
Keeping her real,
They smile sadistically out their windows.
Taking her first step hoping she didn't harm herself too badly,
Things finally feel right,
Just right.
Her life is her's,
No one else has anything that doesn't belong to them in her mind,
And she's ready to move on and leave the torment,
And pain behind her,
The anxiety won't ever leave her system,
But everything considered she's willing to put up with it.
Life is about knowing who you are and working with it,
Finally things were inline,
They could be better but it beat how things could have been,
She'll take it.
Finally there's room to dream,
And move forward she shall,
But forgetfulness is not in her system,
And it won't ever be.


Aishwarya Swan-Cullen said...

I ADORE the use of technical jargon and extended metaphor in Electricity and Maze - very beautiful. My favourite poem here is Frankenstein because of the way the poem is structured to use staccato sentences and conveys a very emotion filled message. It is on the top with Nightmare. I love Nightmare. The structure, content, use of literary devices is stunning.

Ash xx

Keeziegirl said...

lol I had to look up "jargon" btw thanks, Electricity was so simple and just felt right, and I couldn't resist continuing it, then it didn't seem right to end it there... so it turned into 5 parts. Frankenstein... if you knew who I was writing about you'd be intrigued, and I seriously hope that this one doesn't come true like I'm starting to think it will.
Ahh nightmare, too much fun to just continue on the line of thought for that one, it just was a exaggerated continuation.
Oh and thank you again :)

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